All The Nerdy Back To School Essentials Your Child Needs

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For some, back to school shopping is a pleasant experience; for others not so much. How could you not be resentful? Stores roll out the back to school gear in June. June! This is most likely due to the fact that the grownups running these fine establishments find some sort of sadistic pleasure in sounding the death knell of summer. “Hey there! This is your local department store reminding you that soon your freedom will be wrenched away from you and replaced with homework! Oh and notebooks are 50% off!”

 

Still, there is something to love about back to school shopping. Each item on the list of required supplies is a chance for your kids to reinvent who they are. Shiny new pencils and backpacks are really good at making us forget that there will be tests taken with those pencils and textbooks in those same backpacks.

 

In an effort to weed out the boring options and find the supplies particularly well suited to those with nerdier interests, we’ve found some back to school essentials that will make your school-bound nerds smile.

 

I took a look at my old middle school’s list of required school supplies for this year.

 

Here are the top 10 things on that list, only geekified.

 

Pencils

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For your real brainiacs, get the Know-It-All pencil set which have factoids like the boiling point of water and the first 21 digits of Pi. It doesn’t count as cheating if it’s completely adorable right?

 

Is there a spell that will do your homework for you? Probably not. But we can dream, can’t we? Let the kids try out their own Wingardium Leviosas on their teachers with Harry Potter Magic Wand pencils.

Pencil Case

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Hey, if you’re going to have Hogwartian pencils, obviously your pencil case should be just as wizard-worthy. A personalized marauder’s map is a pretty perfect fit.

 

Glue Sticks

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These all natural scented glue sticks offer a nice alternative to um… you know what glue is usually made of (You can breathe a sigh of relief. They no longer use horse hooves, just chemicals…)

 

Otherwise, if you’re okay with your chemicals (I used it and I don’t have any extra toes or horns that I know of) this exists. Yes, that is in fact a light saber glue stick. You might have to have a talk or two about using the glue stick only for gluing and not for fighting the dark side.

Box of Tissues

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Why is it that schools need students to bring tissues? Are they anticipating pop quiz-related tears or is it just a ploy to get out of having to put Kleenex in the school budget? If that’s the case they should make students bring a role of toilet paper as well. If we must, we must, but we recommend that you keep said tissues in something like this.

Eraser

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Who says you have to have a plain old pink eraser? Mustachioed editing tools are so much better. The mustache trend is alive and well and eschewing regular erasers for this much funnier, cuter option will make your child the envy of Chuck Norris fans everywhere.

Calculator

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Calculators have been in the nerd arsenal for a long time and even though you exploited their nerd potential to the fullest  (maybe you gave your TI-89 a name and snuggled with it at night. Maybe you spent your free time making up songs like this), I think we can do even better. This gamer calculator has beautifully married gaming and calculating. It’s a geek dream come true.

Scissors

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Scissors really haven’t changed much over the years. They’ve gotten safer than the jagged, rusty, tetanus-ridden things we used to use, but we want more bang for our nerd buck. I’m a fan of these animal scissors. Though I have to admit, I’m still waiting for them to come out with the unicorn and narwhal models.

Notebooks

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I love this AlexandAlexa silicone notebook because it vaguely reminds me of LEGOs but also, for the kids who often hear “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your neck” their clip calculator can be clipped right to it.

 

Crayons

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The same child who proudly dons his periodic table t-shirt will appreciate these chemistry crayon labels. Pheomelanin beats Carnation Pink any day.

Colored Pencils

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As a past sniffer of scented markers (The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. The second step is realizing that markers taste really bad.) I’m an enthusiastic fan of Smencils. The gourmet scented colored pencils are made from 100% recycled newspapers. Each Colored Smencil is packaged in its own corn-based biodegradable plastic freshness tube.

 

So now you’ve got the top ten covered. But what will they keep all these glorious supplies in?

 

When I was a smaller nerd I carried a Hello Kitty backpack. Not that a Hello Kitty backpack can’t have geeky merit of its own but now there are so many more options for our kids.

 

For the gamers the Uanyi Pixel Art backpack is perfectly reminiscent of Tetris.

For the gadget-head the Eco-Traveler Solar Panel Backpack keeps all their techie toys charged and ready to go. And it’s solar powered and thus environmentally friendly.

For mini Jedi knights there’s the Yoda Plush backpack.

 

However they choose to express themselves this fall, these nerd-worthy goodies will insure that, as Yoda would say, it, a good school year, will be.

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