Aperture Bookends Keep Lab Spaces, er, Bedrooms Clean

e9cc_portal_bookends

Wanna freak your kid out? Issue this warning before presenting these nifty bookends …

“Please be advised that tidiness of all bedrooms … I mean, Aperture Laboratories work spaces … must be maintained according to written policy. Mom and Dad … I mean, the Enrichment Center … regrets to inform you that all written policies have been incinerated in an emergency intelligence incinerator. Employees who successfully maintain the tidiness of their work space will be rewarded with a hug. Please note that failure to follow Mom’s and Dad’s … I mean, Aperture Laboratories … procedures will result in a negative performance review followed by death. Or restriction. More likely, restriction.

e9cc_portal_bookends_closeup

In the event that your work space requires additional organizational equipment, please utilize these official Aperture Laboratories weighted bookends. They’re aluminum and feature a rubber base, so they won’t slip. The Aperture Laboratories bookends have been thoroughly tested and proven to effectively help organize cluttered bedrooms … I mean, work spaces … with minimal risk of permanent injury or death.┬áIf you need assistance in deploying your Aperture Laboratories weighted bookends, the Enrichment Center is happy to provide you with advice.

Like this: Clean your freakin’ room … I mean, work space.

e9cc_portal_bookends_inuse

You will be rewarded for cleaning your bedroom … I mean, work space … with a big hug. And praise. And these bookends.”

Now go clean your room. Seriously. It’s a mess.”

The Aperture Lab bookends are available through ThinkGeek.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *