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Level 1 Human Baby Onesie

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How many times do you come across an NPC that is an infant while playing Dungeon and Dragons? Babies in traditional pencil-and-paper rpgs are normally eaten by trolls or kidnapped by goblin kings that masquerade as David Bowie. Just because your kid would rather slobber on dice than roll them doesn’t mean they should be left out of the game.

This onesie instantly puts them in the action. With only 2 hit points, you’ll probably want to keep them in the middle of the party, but with a charisma score of 18, they’ll be charming the pants off all the merchants. Unfortunately, as their level increases, that charisma score will plummet, especially around the puberty stage. I don’t know if I buy that armor class value of 6, either. Let’s be honest, unless your baby is wearing chain mail diapers or sucking on a pacifier of protection, they’re not very durable.

Pro Tip: The following video will reinforce the fundamentals of playing a pencil-and-paper rpg. Never Split The Party.

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