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Monster High Sweet 1600 Draculaura’s Roadster

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Vampires, being immortal, don’t get that fleeting, bottomless sense of their own mortality when confronted with a birthday cake. They don’t find themselves wishing for more time or better opportunities. They don’t regret the past because, if there’s something they wish they had devoted their life to, they would just carve out 80 years from their schedule and do it.

We buy people birthday presents to show we appreciate their limited existence, and that we recognize they are moving through the stages of life. So, what do vampires get for their birthdays to celebrate their unlimited existence? What would you give your daughter for her 1600th birthday?

The answer, according to Monster High, is a black and pink gothabilly roadster. This car is a nod to the bad boy vehicles of the 40s and 50s (and the Munster Koach) with it’s large-fronted, sporty, goth look. It is a convertible with plush pink seats that have, rather than headrests, little horns. The outside of the car is detailed with a pink heart and raised black-on-black webbing designs.

Before long your kids will be asking you for an actual roadster to go dragging, in which actual explosions happen in an actual combustion engine that they will be driving at high speeds just feet from other, perhaps larger, vehicles. Dear god, that’s a frightening thought. Stick with the toy car for now.

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