I am the Future of Metal Onesie Brings the Noise to Your Toddler

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Back in the day, metal had something to prove. It was loud, abrasive, foul and taboo. It was edgy, it was new, and it was awesome. From the ‘70s with Black Sabbath to the ‘80s with Metallica and the ‘90s with Lamb of God (and everyone in between), metal has always striven to challenge what is and what isn’t acceptable in mainstream music — usually leaning toward the unacceptable.

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This might have been to anger people like Tipper Gore, wife of almost-president Al, who in the mid-’80s headed up a ridiculous coalition of “concerned parents” who wanted to censor records. Unfortunately for Tipper, metal has always done a great job in defending itself against those who have tried to kill it (and Dee Snider a helluva lot smarter than he looks).

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Lately, if you’ve been following the current trends in the genre, perhaps you’ve become disappointed. It has shifted from the in-your-face blastoid of parental disapproval into a cringe-inducing conglomerate of crunk-core, screamo and whatever the hell this is. We really, really need the future children of metal to revisit their roots to keep the shock and awe from escalating into giggles and head shakes. Maybe your baby is the future of metal.

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Since toddlers are always banging their heads, the Six Bunnies I Am the Future of Metal onesie is more than appropriate. An all-in-one baby garment with super-cool text — AND BUNNIES! — is for poopers with high aspirations who coo at the sight of a Flying V — the guitars featured on modernized metal the graphic. The future of metal lies in your hands, mom and dad, so treat them like the rock-‘n’-roll royalty that they are. Proudly proclaim your passing of the torch with this onesie.

Make the metal horns and click on Beadesaurus Co. to pick up this Future of Metal onesie.

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