You would think with how often the Joker manages to escape from Arkham Asylum, that anyone could pull it off. I know that half the time he’s in there, the Joker got caught by choice, but it really makes you wonder if even your kids could escape, with such inept security running the place. Of […]
Something has happened the last 10-15 years that has suddenly made it cool for kids to call themselves “freaks.” When I was a kid, freak was just about the last thing you wanted to be called, right up there with “nerd.” But now we live in progressive times, where nerdy is cool and gamers have […]
How many princesses have we saved over the years? We’ve battled dinosaur-like behemoths to rescue a princess from the Mushroom Kingdom. We’ve defeated an evil pig overlord to free another princess in Hyrule. Princesses are in the business of needing to be saved, and that’s not even counting if you’re a dashing rogue coming from […]
I’m sorry, floppy disk. I didn’t want you to die. I liked you, quite a bit, actually. We had some fun times together, with you loading remedial programs onto my archaic computer, and me completely taking advantage of all your hard work and need for space by playing said programs for hours. We may have […]
Wouldn’t it be great if the entire world fit the description shown on this shirt? Rivers would run brown with delicious chocolate currents, and hills of decadent almond clusters could be devoured to change the landscape at will. Volcanoes would explode with jelly; then later, cover the surrounding area in a cloud of coconut ash. […]
Whiskey was never meant for the casual drinker. It was meant for professional drinkers who like to get drunk fast who never get sick or appear intoxicated. This is not an easy thing to do. It’s like a gene that you’re either born with or you aren’t. Case in point: Lemmy Kilmister. A man who […]
When I was in high school, I listened to Weezer’s Pinkerton until my car stereo actually slapped me in the face and told me to listen to something else. That’s when I switched to punk. But away from the car (in a non-abusive environment), perched on my bed in a room that looked Germany in […]
For the little gamer who has his or her roads mapped out before the game even starts, the kind of settler who knows exactly what ratio of resources to pick up and when, where to build them, and how to do it faster than anyone else: we have a shirt for you. You’re trade savvy, […]
Children have a powerful sense that war is wrong. They understand human suffering with the ferocity and rawness that adults only experience in times of tragedy. When they hear about children suffering in these conflicts they say, “that could be me.” Young kids are incapable of politicizing or creating justifications. Unlike adults, they can’t ignore […]
If I were to create a list of life lessons that are worth learning over the course of one’s lifetime, it might look similar to the ones written here. Your elders have sound advice, and should be listened to. If you find the right person, do whatever it takes to keep them. Money is important, […]
