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Jr. Astronaut Suit

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Your kids will likely pass through several phases on their way to adulthood, and one of the most ubiquitous among all soon-to-be-actual-human-beings is the astronaut phase. Everybody wants, on some level, to be an astronaut, to sail through the stars and be an explorer, if only for a little while. It is one of your jobs as a parent to foster their interests and help them pursue their dreams and ambitions (largely so you can eventually retire and live off their income).

This official NASA astronaut suit will allow them to indulge their fantasy in style. The costume bears the authentic seal of the space agency, a commander’s patch, and comes with its own cap. Additionally, the pants have an expandable velcro cuff to allow breathing room as your star traveler grows. Alas, the costume is not utterly complete. The giant helmet that accompanies a conventional astronaut suit is missing but don’t fret, there is an easy way to craft your own! Simply remove lil’ Sharky the goldfish from his home, drain the water and empty the neon rocks at the bottom of his former house then dry it off and flip the fish bowl atop the would-be astronaut’s noggin for a truly authentic costume.*

*We highly recommend you do not actually try this. Think of poor Sharky… not mention your offspring’s lack of ventilation.

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