With great parenting comes great responsibility—think feeding, toilet training, and providing haircuts that won’t cause them to burn their baby pictures in fifteen years. Thankfully, children’s haircuts have come a long way since the ubiquitous bowl cut made popular by doomed 1970s/1980s child TV stars. These days you have options that extend beyond the overdone faux hawk. Let’s have a look at some of the least embarrassing kids’ haircuts of all time:
Natalie Portman’s sharp crop from Leon the Professional
In 1994, no other child (or adult, if we are being honest with ourselves) came close to looking this stylishly sinister. Portman’s Mathilda was a combination of assassin and adorable and her haircut, with its blunt edges and sweet bangs, serves as a symbol of the two sides of her personality. Off-screen, this cut is perfect for a spirited little girl who tows the line between sweet and spunky.
The “Mod” Mop-Top
How great would it be if Barney-mania could be nipped in the bud early in life and replaced with Beatlemania? Attempt to inspire this change by giving your little one a mop-top mod cut. The early 60s look, popularized by musicians like Mick Jagger, Keith Moon, and all four Beatles, features a sharp collar-length chop at the nape of the neck and longer, messier pieces on top. To prevent it from looking too Bieber-esque, ask your child’s barber or hairstylist to keep pieces slightly longer over the ears. The beauty of the mop-top, other than the obvious fact that a purposefully mussed-up haircut suits the lifestyle of your average four-year-old, is that it works equally well on a little boy or girl. An added bonus: the mod look requires minimal maintenance and you can drag out the time between hair appointments. We’re sure your kids will appreciate that little perk as well.
In fifteen years, your little one may have a great deal in common with Winona Ryder, Michelle Williams, and Audrey Tautou. Perhaps she will boast a closet filled with vintage dresses that you can borrow and never return, or have impeccable taste in musician boyfriends (lucky you). But we can bet your child already shares the single most important quality that bonds these women together—quirky elfin adorableness. All she’s missing is the requisite cutest-girl-on-the-planet pixie haircut. Since the moment Audrey Hepburn debuted her pixie in the 1950s film “Roman Holiday,” women around the world have been embracing their inner child by flocking to their hairdressers and asking that they take a whole lot off the sides and backs and leave a bit more on top. Aside from the fact that the pixie allows your child’s beautiful big eyes and button nose to take center stage, an even more convincing argument for this cut is, in one word: tangles. Imagine a busy morning that’s just a wee bit less busy—no more tangles to comb through! No ponytail holders, barrettes, or tears! If you’re still not a pixie convert, maybe these photos will do the trick
The Sort-of, But Not Really, Faux Hawk
You’ve patiently read up to this point and now you’re sitting there, shaking your head and thinking: what’s with the longish hair on boys? What’s so bad about a faux hawk that keeps my child’s hair out of his eyes? Give me something functional! Okay, okay, if you insist
The reason why this sort-of faux hawk is completely acceptable is that the “hawk” part isn’t too puffy and requires no product to maintain its shape, and the hair around the sides of the head is kept long, thereby ensuring this style falls somewhere in between too-cool-for-you and approachably athletic. Your active tot can run wild without sweating hairspray from his pores, and you can take a photo of him post-play, send it to grandma, and feel confident that she will still be able to recognize him. It’s an adorable win-win all around.