I think it’s time to explore all the reasons one might have to wear an eyepatch. While I don’t want to undermine the severity of any injury or condition that might necessitate one, we all must face facts: there’s little out there that communicates badassery better than the accessory of rogues everywhere.

Let’s start with Mr. Carrot up there. Before he put on that eyepatch, he was a cute little veggie. Maybe he just wanted to help teach kids about nutrition. But with the eyepatch, he becomes an adorable little piece of visual irony. Aren’t carrots supposed to help promote good vision? Think about it.

Then there’s the rabbit here on this adorable vintage print style long sleeve kids’ shirt. The collar says he’s an Elizabethan conejo, but add the eyepatch and you’ve got yourself an instant rabbit villain. Did he eat the carrot and gain his talent for mischief? Could be.

Clearly at some point this monster had the distinct advantage of having a third eye, but then one day, he became just like the rest of us. It’s ok little guy, we think your eyepatch is pretty dang cute.

Is there a kid out there who wouldn’t love a little pirate cosplay? I love this pink cape and matching eyepatch because I always dig when ‘boy’ things come in ‘girl’ versions.

While eye injuries may be grusome, the result is sometimes delicious. These chocolate eyepatches would be arrrr-some at a pirate party (or just to play with and eat when they start to get melty).