Love 3 Loves

Thermos Crush-Proof Lunch Kit: Darth Vader

Want it? Click here to get it.

So, you’re on your way to school, lunch in hand, when you happen upon Darth Vader picking on Admiral Motti again. The Dark Lord of the Sith has Motti locked in a powerful force grip again, and it looks like Vader might actually go through with it this time. Thinking fast, you remember that Vader is hyper sensitive to criticism, and so in an effort to distract him and lighten the mood, you call out, “Hey, Motti, what’s up? Vader still upset he couldn’t locate those rebel bases?”

You get the intended response from Vader as he stiffly turns, respirators wheezing as he says, for about the fortieth time, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”

Motti collapses to the ground, gasping for breath as Darth Vader reaches toward you with his claw-like grip.

Fortunately for you, you’re carrying your Darth Vader Crush-Proof Lunch Kit, which you deftly use to deflect the dark lord’s vicious force grip. As Vader tries in vain to crush the sturdy polystyrene likeness of his own helmet, Admiral Motti, on your cue, sets up the classic kneel-behind-somebody’s-knees-while-your-friend-pushes-them-over move. Vader, frustrated and confused, doesn’t see you coming as you bum rush him, sending him sprawling to the ground. Then, you and Admiral Motti make off with the Dark Lord of the Sith’s lunch money, laughing all the way to school. What a loser!

So, next time you bump into a master of the dark side of the force, make sure you have your Thermos Crush-Proof Lunch kit handy. It’s more than just a roomy, sturdy, insulated lunch box!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *