Toddlers Beware: Enforced Nerdiness Through Baby Clothes


So many people, so many nerd-wannabes. It’s hard to tell, with all the nerd-chic trend-mongers running around, where the real nerds are anymore. But we can rest easy in the knowledge that our offspring, those genetic mutants that sprang from our loins, will know the true meaning. Even if we have to beat it into them.

So here are a few cute-and-cuddly-and-comfy ways to indoctrinate your little nerd before he or she has enough command of the language to report you to the authorities.

Though ‘staches seem to be the domain of the hipster these days – damn hipsters have stolen more nerdy fashion trends than the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory — a mustache with black-rimmed glasses still screams NERD. And so we have this adorable T-shirt for toddlers.


Sizes run from newborn up to 2 years. Of course, if dad is sporting this look right now, a handlebar and some Clark Kents, it will only serve to complete the family nerd aesthetic. Pick up this T-shirt at GavinandDemma’s Etsy page.

Speaking of Etsy, here’s a Revenge of the Nerds onsie from The Wishing Elephant.


The glasses make another appearance, this time complemented buy a couple of pens in the breast pocket. Sizes range from 3 to 24 months, and the felt appliqués are made from 100 percent post-consumer recycled bottles. Yes, bottles.

Wanna really test your baby’s smarts? Hook that child up with a periodic table onesie.


Confound even the most precocious child with this detailed chart of the elements. You can even get one for yourself, and you and your progeny can prance around the neighborhood quizzing folks about isotopes and shit.

And then there’s this …



A total knee-slapper, this onesie — available through the Neatoshop — isn’t just for Trekkies. For ages 6 to 12 months, this Spock-adorned piece quips “I’m so cute, I made Spock smile … almost.” Don’t get it? You are no where close to Nerdsville.


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