There’s just something about zombies that have always made them the black sheep of the horror world. They should be scary, right? They’re kind of gross sometimes (remember that scene in The Walking Dead where a bit of the little girl’s zombie scalp came off when her dad brushed her hair? Gross.) But most of the time they just come off as kitschy, whether it’s unintentional or not. Maybe that’s why we love them so much. Any character who can’t outrun a decaying zombie with a broken ankle probably deserves what they get. I mean, come on!
So now, because our cultural love of zombies is so layered and complicated, it’s spreading through the nerd channels like a plague. The question of “are zombies too scary for children?” has moved onto the next logical step, which is of course: “what cute things can we make into zombies so kids can get in on all the undead action?”
So here we are, showing you a bunch of cute things for your kids that just happen to have contracted an unfortunate case of zombification. It’s a well known fact that just because they want to eat your most essential of organs, it doesn’t mean that zombies don’t need love too.
Let’s begin where every toy parody should begin: the Disney princesses. WowWee’s Once Upon a Zombie dolls take a tongue in cheek approach to killing off those pretty pink princesses and raising them again as horrifically gothy versions of their former selves.
The new LEGO Monster Fighters series is a nod to classic horror in the always cheeky LEGO style. In the zombie set, a bride and groom wander a graveyard while their driver waits patiently for them. This set is worth getting just for the unique zombie bride and groom minifigs! Her hair is pretty impeccable.
Minecraft fans, not to worry: your IP’s zombie crossover has made it to the toystore too. Here’s the Minecraft zombie action figure.
If you’re into sock monkeys (who isn’t?) you simply must add a zombie sock monkey or two to your collection. How will your other sock monkeys keep in shape and hone their survival skills if they’re not running from an evil exposed-bone stitched and bloody zombie monkey?
And of course, you know that the recent owl-apaloosa has come full circle when handmade plush zombie owls are taking over Etsy.
That stuff not cute and gross enough for you? If you have a baby, nothing mushes adorable and disgusting together like a crocheted severed eye rattle with ocular roots. Ouch, gross, awwww.